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Madness the key to marital bliss

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I have two words to all those men out there trying to get their wives to watch sports with them this spring: March Madness. 

Now I know getting your wife to plop down on the couch and watch a game or two with you can be challenging. Some of you may even be wondering why you should even try. 

Why not just watch alone or with a buddy while your wife does her own thing? 

Well, I’m not a family counselor or anything, but I have learned a few things over the years. 

When there’s work to be done around the house (when is there not?), sitting in the recliner for hours on a sunny Saturday has been known to cause a certain amount of marital discord. 

Especially this time of year, there’s always yard work to be done or something to paint or fix. 

And I’ve found the best way to get out of doing that is to get your wife involved in what you want to do. 

And March Madness, also known as the NCAA Basketball Tournament, is your best bet to make that happen. 

A baseball game? Forget it. 

As much as I love wathching the sport, someone who has never played it, and even some who have, will be bored to death watching three hours worth of men spitting, kicking dirt and adjusting themselves with actual action mixed in intermittently. 

Professional basketball? No again. 

There’s very little passion during the regular season (the season is 82 games long but seems like 182) and the playoffs are entirely too long. Most playoff series are best of seven games, meaning the first six games don’t really mean a whole lot. 

Soccer? Hockey?

Nobody around here understands hockey. While soccer can be fun to play, it can be painful to watch. 

We’re Americans and we demand scoring. There’s not enough of that in either sport. 

So that leaves us with March Madness. 

Most people watch television for drama and the NCAA Tournament has it in spades. 

There’s none of that best-of-seven nonsense. 

Win and you move on. Lose and you’re out. 

And the games, usually about two hours in length, are relatively short. 

Everybody likes an underdog and every year there are several plucky teams you’ve never heard of that make a run and knock off those teams (Kentucky, Duke) you love to hate. 

During the first two rounds of the tournament there are games on television non-stop. 

The Michigan State vs.. Middle of Nowhere State game a blowout? 

No problem. Turn the station to a close one because there are always plenty to choose from. 

And perhaps the best part of the whole tournament is filling out the brackets and seeing how you do against your friends and family members. 

This brings me back to getting your wife involved. 

It’s been proven over and over again that the person who knows the least about basketball quite often beats those who think they know the most. 

I’ve been a sportswriter for almost 20 years and sports watcher for nearly 40 and I lost the bracket challenge to my wife Sara last year. 

While it may have been a bit of an ego blow, it’s a small price to pay for watching basketball with my wife while simultaneously putting those chores off a little longer. 

 

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